Things I Have Learned from Kids

• It feels good to vacuum your hair.
• Toilet paper never goes back on the roll as nicely as it comes off.
• A ping pong ball and cups provide endless hours of entertainment for boys of any age.
• If a toddler aims her bottom just right, she can spray water across the tub when passing gas.
• Be careful what you feed the dog.
• It is not safe to roller blade in your underwear, even if you are wearing a helmet.
• Knotting the family socks together will not create a hose through which water will travel to water a flower, but it will transport enough water to flood the kitchen and soak through to the basement.
• Marshmallows do cool things in the microwave, so does Ivory soap.
• Forgiveness
• Tiaras are suitable attire for any occasion.
• Although cats can not live in the frig forever, they can last long enough to make a big mess.
• Laughter heals. Bandaids help.
• Peeing in a can by your bed is NOT a substitute for having your own bathroom.
• Santa likes a little rum in his eggnog.
• You will always need your momma.
• Birthdays require cake.
• Head-first is NOT the best way to investigate a hole.
• Things often go IN a hole much easier than they come OUT of the hole.
• Baby breath in the morning is much nicer than adult breath in the morning.
• Wet gummy snacks will adhere to almost anything. So will boogers.
• I am happiest when I don’t focus on me.
• Blowing bubbles force you to control your breathing and relax.
• Not everything can be flushed.
• Play is good.
• “Magic” lotion heals minor wounds of the flesh and heart.
• In an emergency, you can do #1 in the shower, but NEVER #2.
• There is no substitute for love.