Ingenuity

The kids and I were sitting around our dining room table having a mundane lunch on a hot July afternoon. Pretty typical fare: ham sandwiches, fruit, and milk. After I finished, I began to clear away the debris left after the meal. As I reached for his plate, my son exclaimed, “Don’t take that apple core, mom!”

“Riley,” I answered, “you don’t want that apple core; it’s trash.”

He went on to explain, “It’s not for me, mom. It’s for my friends.”

“Son, your friends don’t want an apple core.”

“It’s for my friends in my ant farm,” he continued.

“Son, you don’t have an ant farm.”

“Yes I do, mom,” he shared, “I made one. It’s under my bed.”

This caught my full attention because I knew it was . . . (gulp) . . . possible.

After a deep, slow breath, I excused myself and went to Riley’s room. I laid on the floor to look under the bed. Oh, boy. Packing tape secured two large marshmallows to the carpet directly under the center of the bed. This sugary structure was enveloped by a hoard of very large, black ants.

My recollection of what happened next is quite vague; but, my children claimed that I produced a blood-curdling scream. The adrenaline burst, and I somehow cast the double bed and oak frame aside (despite the fact I was seven months pregnant), and relocated the house guests. I can only share what has been reported to me; I have blocked out this part of the memory.

At some point, I returned to the table where Riley was calmly finishing his lunch. This was an opportunity for a teachable moment. “Son, why are there ant-covered marshmallows under your bed.”

“I was afraid that you wouldn’t like them if you saw them, mom.”

Accurate assessment.

“Son, why were the marshmallows taped to the floor?”

“I didn’t want the ants to carry them away.”

Sensible-ish.

“Son, we can’t keep food in our rooms because it brings in bugs, just like this.”

“But mom, the ants didn’t come in the house!”

“Son, I saw them!”

“But mom, I had to BRING them in.”

“What!?!”

“That’s why I needed the marshmallows. I had to leave them on the ants until they crawled on top of them, THEN I brought them in the house.”

Well of course, how silly of me. Now it made perfect sense.