Compassion

My youngest daughter is clever, kind, loving, brave, creative, hilarious; and, she has heart disease. Right or wrong, I would love to remove this burden for her; but, that’s not our reality. The reality is that while this disease has created it’s share of pain, it has provided many, many wonderful experiences for us as well.

Her most recent procedure was earlier this month. It was minor (not open-heart), but it was the first she has had in over a year. My dolly had forgotten many of the discomforts of surgery, and she was not prepared. The insertion of the IV, waking up sore and confused, and spending a day without being able to sit up were unusual experiences for a little girl. This could be devastating. Thanks to a wonderful hospital with amazing staff and incredible volunteers; they were not. She received exceptional care. Nurses soothed and smiled. A volunteer visited with a therapy dog. Care partners brought movies and activities. The doctors were honestshemy girl talked on and on about the toy room, the chocolate ice cream she was served, and how she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. I am so grateful that she wants to emulate, not fear, doctors. How wonderful that she has fond memories of her hospital experience.

While the professionals cared for my girl, my parents took care of me. Multiple surgeries have been a part of our lives. Mom and dad have been present for every one. Because they are retired? Nope, both work full time. Because I asked them to? Not at all, I would not have burdened them. Because I am an only child? Hardly! There are seven of us. My parents make family THE priority. They are two of the least selfish people I have ever known. I am humbled by their selflessness.

There’s more. The calls and messages I received from family and friends are countless. Throughout our many hospital stays, we have been showered with love and support. Her friends have sent handmade artwork. My friends and students have called, prayed, messaged, sent gifts, mowed my lawn, cared for my children, completed my shopping, visited, donated, and loved us. We are never alone.

Pope John XXIII stated, “If God created shadows it was to better emphasize the light.” The light in my life outshines the shadows. I do not welcome life’s pain, but I embrace the love and support that comes as a result. I am overwhelmed with compassion and love . . . I am blessed.

Friends Who Make Us Better

Self-pity does not look good on me, but I indulge now and then. On one of these occasions, I called a friend to complain about my daughter’s cardiologist. I had found the doctor to be brash and condensing. I felt insulted; I had not received the appropriate respect. My friend could have indulged my weakness and joined in my chorus of ‘poor me;’ but, she cared about my daughter and I, and she decided to set me straight. In no uncertain terms, she explained that the cardiologist was there to care for my daughter. My sensibilities were not the priority. The objective was not to feed my ego; it was to make sure my daughter received the best care.

Like many antiseptics, her words stung when they hit my wounds; and, like antiseptic, it killed an infection. My friend had told me what I NEEDED to hear, rather than what I WANTED to hear. It was a lesson I needed to learn. This is what real friends do.

I have had the privilege of spending the last two school years with a remarkable young man. His talent and potential for leadership are infinite. He is kind, compassionate, and tough all at the same time. During our time together, I have witnessed a metamorphosis. This young man was lost and angry twelve months ago. He struggled with school, the law, and himself. He was in pain, and it pained me to watch him. Then, he did something courageous; he chose to change.

It has been said that it is hard to feel sorry for yourself if your focus is on serving others. This student embraced this philosophy. He has not only turned his attitude and school performance around; he has transformed others. His influence has led many of his friends to improve their school performance and reflect upon what they need to do to maximize learning. He challenges their ideas and helps them monitor their behavior. He is creating the school community he wants. He is the change. He IS a true friend.

The more time I spend in my ‘lab’ at school; the more I witness this. Students are taking the time and making the effort to push one another. They are using their strengths to help one another. They are making the effort to reach out. Out of their cliques, out of their comfort zones, out of their insecurities. The children I love are becoming the adults I hope for. I am honored to watch them grow.